Framing the Issue:
Responses and Reaction to "The Homosexual Question"
by Julian Horowitz
November 19, 2009
The question of how to approach homosexuality in our
community is particularly vexing for those of us who try to walk the thin
tightropes of centrism and moderation. On the one hand, we understand that
sexual orientation is often not a conscious choice, and it doesn't define an
individual; we hate the sin, not the sinner, and all that jazz. On the other
hand, we know that the male homosexual act is something the Torah tells us to
abhor, and that tradition doesn't have very good things to say about female
homosexuality either. Our hands are tied by the law, and there is
basically nothing we can do to help those who want to enter into a fulfilling
sexual relationship while maintaining their fidelity to the halakhah.
Furthermore, dealing with homosexuality is more complicated
than dealing with other sins, like Sabbath violation, eating treif, or
even atheism: our culture seems to have raised us to relate to homosexuals as
what a literature professor might call “the other,” alien and strange. The few
times I have interacted with a confirmed active Jewish homosexual, I couldn't
help but feel slightly uncomfortable, harkening back to my ten-year-old disgust
at the two men in the row behind me making out during a Broadway production
of The Lion King. Somehow, equating homosexuality with
un-coolness has even crept into the camp and grade school lexicons (as in
“That' so gay!”).
And it seems that our dilemma is a microcosm for other
issues in our supposedly tolerant society. In the same way that we today wonder
how slavery and segregation could have ever existed in America, one day, we'll
probably look back and be amazed that as late as the twenty-first century, we
still banned gay civil unions and elected presidents who were in favor of amending
the constitution to define marriage. But for now, it seems, we're still in
denial. What is it about homosexuality that makes us oppose it so adamantly?
Though I am no social scientist, if I had to guess, I would
say that we have such a hard time with homosexuality because it is so foreign
to most of us. Even though I personally try to refrain from breaking halakhah, I
can understand the yetzer ha-ra (evil inclination) to eat
cheeseburgers, violate the Sabbath, or even (chas ve-shalom) sleep with
one's neighbor's wife. But the homosexual act is not just something that I
don't want to do – it absolutely disgusts me (See Tosafot to Sanhedrin 26b,
s.v. hashud, for a similar point). How can we be expected to
sympathize with someone's desire to do something that we naturally oppose, even
if, rationally speaking, we know that he or she really wishes to do it?
This issue has had a long and painful history at YU: some
may remember the scandal and lawsuits of the mid-nineties, when
Yeshiva – partly because of a petition signed by twenty-four of our rashei
yeshivah – tried to deny funding to gay/lesbian clubs at Cardozo, or
when the ACLU filed suit against YU for denying housing to gay couples at
Einstein. Current students might recall last year's fuss over founding of the
YU Tolerance Club, which was repeatedly accused of harboring homosexuals
(whatever that's supposed to mean) and the controversial issue of Kol
Hamevaser which included two articles about homosexuality (one by
a musmakh of RIETS who is also a active homosexual).
In the most recent chapter of this saga, last month's
edition of The Commentator included an anonymous submission
from a homosexual YU student, in which he suggested some “baby steps” towards
solving his (and presumably many others') problem. Though I can't be sure if,
as his article suggested, the founding of a Gay-Straight Alliance will take us
in the right direction, I've come to recognize which direction is wrong.
Shortly after the publication of the last issue, we received another anonymous
submission from someone who would only identify himself as an MYP and Sy Syms
student. After decrying the supposed tendency of the Modern Orthodox community
to ignore the halakhot that it doesn't like, and reminding us
that the biblical flood occurred because of the legitimization of
forbidden relationships, our writer counseled the author of the first
submission to seek psychiatric help so that he could “change his outlook in
order to find women attractive and stop being attracted to men... just like
someone with bipolar disorder or anerexia [sic] or bolemia [sic]
would do.” The submission then concluded with the blessing that our homosexual
student should “overcome his disorder and build a BNB [sic].”
Though we can’t know for sure if the ideas put forth in this
student's piece are similar to those espoused by the YU student body, my
educated guess would be that such a stance is a popular one in YU circles, both
on and off campus. But as anyone who has read Rabbi Chaim Rapoport's Judaism
and Homosexuality: An Authentic Orthodox View – which includes a
foreword by British Chief Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks – can tell you, adopting a
blanket policy of encouraging all homosexuals to involve themselves in heterosexual
marriage is a recipe for disaster. Though a minority of homosexuals may be
susceptible to “reform,” most will never be able to find fulfillment in a
partnership with a member of the opposite sex. Even though the Torah may tell
us that homosexual activity is an abomination, I am not sure where it tells us
that all people born as homosexuals, their potential spouses, and their future
children must be doomed to suffer from unhappy marriages and dysfunctional
family life.
It is in the hopes of clarifying any misconceptions and seeking out possible solutions that The Commentator spoke with Dr. David Pelcovitz, YU's resident expert on all things Judaism, psychology, and the interplay between the two. We hope you read this interview as well as the other responses to last issue’s article, and, even more, we hope that you gain a new perspective on and a new level of sensitivity towards those who are different from you.
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